


The Courage Of Stars

by pikkupingviini



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol but only a little bit, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 11:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3289304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikkupingviini/pseuds/pikkupingviini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo finds himself drawn to the oak tree where he found an acorn. Something's going on, but he can't quite understand it yet. What could it be?</p><p>Meanwhile, Thorin has to keep a promise he made himself. He really needs to get out of the house more, spend time with adults and not his adorable, but very tiring, nephews.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Acorn

**Author's Note:**

> The name for this fic came from the amazing song "Saturn" by an even more amazing singer Sleeping At Last. 
> 
> This fic has not been betaed, so there will be, and there are grammatical errors, I am sorry. I don't speak English as my first language so it's kinda hard to write in it without making mistakes. And on top of that, this is my first bagginshield fic. I haven't written anything in many years. If someone wants to be the beta for this fic, let me know.
> 
> I'll update whenever I get the chance. Just whatever you have to say, just comment. 
> 
> Enjoy! And leave comments or kudos please! :)

The street was littered with leaves and twigs fallen from the trees after last night’s thunderstorm. Bilbo was making his way home from his office, to the comfort and tranquility of his own home. He felt the twigs snap beneath his feet and he decided to stop for a minute to sit on a bench beneath the gigantic oak. He put his laptop bag beside him on the bench and let out a sigh. He felt like smoking now, in the middle of the beautiful summer day, but he decided not to. “I am trying to quit it, damn you”, he muttered to himself and nervously tapped his knees with his fingers. His ankles still hurt every now and then from the car crash in which he had lost his parents. 

He was ready to get up when his phone started to ring in his pocket. He hadn’t gotten used to those damn touch screen phones, but when his old Nokia finally broke, he had to buy one. Now his phone was in his pocket, and in order to get it out, he needed to squirm a little lower on the bench and get a hold of his phone. He knew that he needed to answer it quickly, otherwise whoever was calling would end the call and he would have to call back. He hated it.

He knew that he must look rather hilarious squirming on the bench, but he didn’t really bother to think too much about it. The only people he saw were a few joggers and a bunch of schoolkids a few dozen meters down the road. He answered the phone a bit agitated, given the struggle he had gone through to get it out of his pocket, and heard a familiar, yet unexpected voice. “Bilbo! My dear lad! I haven’t spoken to you in ages, how are you doing?” Bilbo recognised the voice, but didn’t identify the caller instantly.

“Ga-gandalf?” Bilbo asked a little abashed. The man on the line just laughed. “Yes my boy. You’re getting old, you don’t even remember me anymore?” Gandalf said, not maliciously, Bilbo knew, but he was still a bit annoyed. Bilbo let out a small “hhmmpph” and Gandalf kept on talking.

“I was wondering whether I could come by to see you one day, for I am in town and could make a little visit at Bag End. I wish to see you and chat.” Bilbo didn’t quite know what to make out of this. He knew that his mother and Gandalf had been friends, and Gandalf had always told him stories of dragonfire and battle. Bilbo’s mother Belladonna hadn’t exactly been content with Gandalf telling scary stories to her small son, but she had heard the stories herself too. Her father and Gandalf had worked together, and Belladonna had always adored Gandalf. 

Gandalf was a brilliant storyteller. He had introduced Belladonna to traveling after he had told her some of the stories of his travels, and Bilbo to writing. He had a huge impact in Bilbo’s childhood, so Bilbo just couldn’t say no to someone so adamant about coming to see him.

“Yeah, sure, whenever”, Bilbo uttered. “Ummm, when would you be visiting?” he asked, realizing he’d sounded a little rude. He was sure Gandalf wouldn’t mind, he was kindhearted, but sometimes Bilbo felt uneasy around him, as if the air around Gandalf was brewing and something dubious was happening Bilbo didn’t know about.  
They settled on Gandalf visiting the next afternoon, leaving Bilbo time to bake something good to serve him whenever he chose to come. Bilbo was about to get up from the bench, but his eyes saw a little acorn on the ground. Something about the acorn striked him, he felt a twinge in his stomach and for some unknown reason, picked the acorn up on his palm. It was shiny and so small. Bilbo chuckled and put the acorn in his waistcoat pocket and tapped it twice. It felt strange to do so, but Bilbo didn’t mind. There was something delightful in the feeling the tiny acorn in his pocket made Bilbo feel, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

When Bilbo heard the familiar knock on his door, he put down the kitchen cloth down and shuffled towards the door. Once he opened it, Gandalf was already making his way inside. “Oh, you’ve decorated. I guess the decor was a little outdated, but still… Well, how are you doing, my lad?” Gandalf said and grabbed Bilbo by his shoulders. 

“I’m good, I’m good”, Bilbo replied, guiding Gandalf towards the kitchen. He pointed the chair at the end of the table. “Please, sit down”. Gandalf obeyed and nodded. Bilbo carried the blueberry pie to the table and picked up the kettle from the stove and poured some tea in Gandalf’s cup. 

Gandalf asked about Bilbo’s work, and Bilbo sighed and told Gandalf about the book he’s writing. “Yeah, it’s been kind of hard to be a writer in this situation”, Bilbo stated. Gandalf just nodded and ate a piece of th pie. “I’ve also thought about applying for a teaching job. The middle school down the street is always looking to hire new teachers. But I don’t know if I have what it takes” Bilbo said, taking a piece of the pie now himself and eating it. “Well, I guess I could also try baking. The pie is quite tasty, actually”, Bilbo said chowing down the piece of cake. Gandalf laughed and nodded.

“Yes, but teaching could be good for you. Being somewhere other than your home all the time could be a reasonable consideration. You never know what could be outside your door, you know”. Bilbo half-smiled and turned to watch his cup of tea. That is what Gandalf used to say when he started his stories. There were valiant hobbits and dwarves and graceful elves in his stories with whom Bilbo could relate to easily. He wanted to be brave, but to be quite honest, he had never thought of going on adventures. He enjoyed his comfortable little hole of a home too much.  


After Gandalf had left, Bilbo was left to consider the teaching job. He had been a teacher for a small while after graduating. He had the qualifications for being a teacher but had never liked it. But yesterday he had gotten a warning from his boss. They wanted him to write an article on the paper about this criminal who called himself Smaug. Bilbo had refused, not wanting to get involved in all this drama about this new criminal and most likely get on his bad side. When Bilbo thought about writing, he saw knights in shining armor riding on beautiful horses, not some shitty local news paper exploring the world of dissing a dangerous criminal. Bilbo had received a warning, something he never thought he’d get. Maybe that teaching job wouldn’t be that bad after all.

 

-

Dwalin had started to stretch already. Thorin hadn’t even changed his pants yet. “Hey, wait up!” he shouted to the bigger man and Dwalin just laughed. His laughter was so deep, but kind of gigglish. Dwalin wouldn’t appreciate Thorin making fun of it, so he stayed quiet about his cousin’s adorable giggle. Thorin quickly found his jogging pants from the pile of clothes he had on the side of his bed and changed into them. It was one of those days he wished he’d bought running shorts. It was hot and the air was heavy. It would be awful jogging, but his body demanded the work out. He’d gotten himself get out of shape lately, and Dwalin hadn’t made enough fun about it. 

When they made it out of the park, Thorin looked at the massive oak tree and ran beneath it. He sat down on the bench, not wanting to ruin his pants by sitting on the ground, and chugged down two mouthfuls of water. He was sweating hard while Dwalin was just starting to get a little sweaty. Dwalin kept on jogging, waiting for Thorin to join him. Thorin grunted and got up. “Can’t wait forever, cousin!” Dwalin shouted and Thorin hit him on the shoulder. “Shut up” he said as they stepped out of the shadow of the oak tree. 

After the run Thorin had to get to his sister’s to babysit his nephews. His sister Dis would go to a girl’s night out with her friends, and Thorin will get to spend some time with his nephews Fili and Kili. Fili is six and Kili is four. Their father passed away before Kili was born. Thorin had helped Dis with them ever since. Part of the reason why Thorin’s gotten out of shape was that on the boys’ summer break, he had had a lot of free time with them. Thorin owned a little blacksmith’s shop and a forgery with Dwalin. Business had been a bit slow during the summer months, but Thorin didn’t worry. He wasn’t going into debt, because his father was a rich man, made money on investments, and after he died, all the money was divided to all three of his children. 

Nevertheless, Thorin, Dis and Frerin all have jobs and they work like everyone else. Dis was a lawyer, working for organisations which work to get better social justice for all. Thorin was so proud of her. She had managed to graduate after losing her husband and having two children herself. Frerin, on the other hand, was still in college. He wanted to become a physicist. Thorin felt that Frerin and Dis got the brains and the balls, he just got the stubborness. He was the one who was unyielding in his desire to become a blacksmith against his father’s wishes. 

Fili and Kili were waiting anxiously at the door for their uncle. They’d sat there, in complete silence, for at least two minutes, and Dis finally had a few minutes of time to get ready. She loved her sons, of course, but sometimes you just had to get out of the house. 

When Thorin knocked on the door, both the boys jumped on their feet simultaneously and Fili opened the door. Kili grabbed Thorin’s shirt and demanded to be picked up. 

Thorin picked Kili up, and petted his curls. “We should both get a haircut, you know”, he said to Kili. Kili giggled. Fili ran to the kitchen to show Thorin a drawing he had made the other day. “It’s you, at the forge. You’re making a sword” Fili shouted, and Thorin smiled. “Yes, it looks good”, Thorin said and smiled reassuringly. 

“Good, I think I’d better be going”, Dis said as she entered the kitchen. The boys were all sitting at the table, having a tense staring competition. Dis kissed both of his sons on the forehead and tapped her brother on the back. “I’ll be back by 1 am”, she said and smiled. “Goodbye boys!” she called out and walked out the door.

“Ok, what should we do now?” Thorin asked conspiratorially with a crooked smile on his lips. 

-

“You are not having another bowl of ice cream”, Thorin said in a deflated tone. God, these boys were a handful. “I gotta get you to bed soon, I don’t want you to go to bed with a sugar high!” Thorin said and picked up the boys. He couldn’t think of anything he could make the boys do to keep their energy at bay. “Hey, you wanna go play? Let’s go play Just Dance on your Wii okay?” Thorin said to the boys. “Only if you dance too, Uncle” Fili said. He knew his uncle didn’t like dancing, but Thorin knew it was the only way to get the boys to dance. “Ok”, Thorin sighed. 

He had just almost fallen asleep when he heard the door open. Dis stepped in, making sure she didn’t make lots of noises, and greeted Thorin. She had a wide smile on her lips, and Thorin couldn’t quite place where he’d seen that smile before. He looked at her with inquisitive eyes. Dis groaned a little and blushed. “I met someone”, she told her brother. Thorin’s face didn’t move an inch, but his mouth formed a wide smile.

“Oh?” Thorin was happy for her sister. Her husband had been her first partner and he was sad to see her so heartbroken after his death. They were still so young when they had met in uni and a year later announced she was pregnant. 

“Yes, won’t tell you more now. It’s only the third time I’ve met her” Dis breathed out. She waited for some kind of a reaction, but she did not get one. Of course it didn’t matter to Thorin that his sister was also interested in women. After all, Dis had been the first person Thorin had told about his attraction to men. 

“Good for you, Dis” he said and stood up from the chair. “Now, excuse me, I have to go home and sleep. The boys made me dance”. Dis laughed and poured some water in her glass. He flexed his muscles and yawned. “I gave them both a small bowl of ice cream, hope you don’t mind” Thorin said while he was walking towards the door.

“Nah, I know you have given them some, it shows on your middle”, Dis said, laughing. “I have been talking to Dwalin, and he is irritated by you breaking their contract for trying to reduce the amount of sweets you both eat. You have small spare tire there” Dis said pointing at Thorin's stomach. Thorin walked to her sister and kissed her on the forehead. 

“Goodnight” he said smiling and left. He didn’t mind the two making fun of him putting on weight, he didn’t even mind the fact that he had gained some weight. He looked better now. He hadn’t spoken about it to anyone, but he had felt a little depressed after his father’s death. He wanted to keep everything to himself, therefore he hadn’t spoken to anyone about what he was feeling. All his time he had spent at the forge or with his nephews. He sighed deeply and looked at his sister’s house. He probably should talk about it to someone, but not now. After all, he had been feeling a lot better lately.


	2. The Unexpected Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! I probably won't update the third chapter this quickly before this chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Bilbo passed the oak on his way to the school. The school had conveniently put an ad on the paper that day. The school was, surprise surprise, looking for teachers for next semester starting in about two weeks. Bilbo had decided to update his résumé, and apply for the job. He didn’t have to go the office today, so he decided to visit the school instead. The faculty seemed nice, so he was actually really excited to potentially work there. His interview with the principal also went on rather pleasantly.

When he was returning home, he stopped at the oak. He wondered how long it had stood there, just a few meters from his gate. He’d played under it as a child, his mother worrying for him. There was a small street there, lined with the oak trees on one side and houses on the other. Bilbo was always playing under the oak trees at the edge of the park as a child. There were rarely any cars driving on the street, but Bilbo still remembered one time when he was small, that he had been close to being driven over by a car. 

Just now, there were kids in the park. They loved the park and the trees surrounding the park. On beautiful summer days like the one they had now, the park was usually full of people having picnics. It was still too early in the day for families to be on a picnic, parents still needed to work even if it was summer. 

Bilbo dropped by his house quickly and grabbed one of the books from his to-read list and ran outside to the sunshine. He enjoyed the sunshine. It made his curls shine brighter and made them blonder. The freckles on his shoulders and face became more visible in the summertime. He leaned his back on the tree trunk and opened the book. He was deep in concentration reading the book when his shoulder got hit with a frisbee. He lifted his head with alarm and only saw a colossal man making his way towards Bilbo. “Oh I’m sorry, sir!” he shouted and grabbed the frisbee.

“No, it’s fine. “ Bilbo replied, looking at the man. The man looked scary, with big muscles and tattoos, but his face looked really gentle. Bilbo swore he had seen him somewhere before. The man didn’t seem to recognize him, though. The man was followed by a grey Irish Wolfhound.

“I was throwing the frisbee to my dog, Kibil. He’s very kind, just looks a bit ferocious.” Bilbo didn’t think the dog looked ferocious. He was just panting with his long pink tongue out. Bilbo petted the dog, the dog’s shaggy coat soft under Bilbo’s palm. Yes, a malevolent beast, that dog. 

Two young boys appeared from behind the man. The older was about six years old and the younger about four. The older had a beautiful, curly blond hair, and like his brother, Bilbo thought since they looked much alike, the younger boy had curly hair, but dark. 

“Uncle Dwalin, throw the frisbee already!” the older of the boys said. Something inside Bilbo’s head clicked when he heard the man’s name. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” Bilbo had to ask. He got up and brushed the little scraps of grass off his jeans. He looked Dwalin in the eyes, and surely, there was some familiar about the shade of grey. 

“Fili, take the frisbee, you can throw it yourself too”, Dwalin said and handed the frisbee to the older boy. Bilbo moved to see the brothers better. Something about them stirred up a storm in Bilbo’s stomach. He felt melancholic at the sight of the brothers walking away with Kibil at their feet, the dog staring at the frisbee.

“May I ask your name?” Dwalin asked, but before Bilbo could answer, a voice rose from behind him. “Hi Dwalin! I see you came to the park with the boys and Kibil”. Bilbo didn’t have to even turn around, he could see the blue, warm eyes in his mind. But he did, some kind of ancient drive swinging him around on his heels. 

Behind him, walking on the lane under the oak trees, was a man, not much older than Bilbo himself. He looked somehow noble, but with a mundane air around him. Bilbo’s heart sank. He felt an instant pressure in his head and stomach, and had to support himself by stretching his hand to the trunk of the oak. 

The man stopped mid-step, disbelieving gaze on the man’s eminent face. He had let his hair grow, but it was too short, Bilbo thought. The man took a step back. He shook his head and walked towards Bilbo. 

“Hey”, said Dwalin, baffled by the way the man reacted. The man didn’t turn his eyes away from Bilbo’s. Bilbo couldn’t breathe properly, he was able to only take shallow breaths. He felt his eyes go misty. He cleared his throat discreetly and said ”Bilbo Baggins”. The man smiled amiably. “Thorin Durin”. He offered his hand. Bilbo took it and shook his hand. Bilbo couldn’t fight the feeling, that this was somehow fate. That this had happened before. He felt very uneasy at the revelation of his mind. 

Dwalin, Thorin and Bilbo talked about their life from their kindergarten friends up until their adult years. They couldn’t come to the conclusion when they could have met. Dwalin was also starting to believe Thorin when he said he had definitely met Bilbo before. They finally had to leave the park when the boys started to complain about their hunger. “It was interesting meeting you Bilbo”, Thorin said as they were walking out of the park. 

“You too”, he said and waved at the boys. When he passed the oak again, he had to stop again. He put his hand on the trunk and sighed. He pounded his fist on the trunk and cursed. He felt that his brain was failing him. He knew he recognized the men. Damn, he even he recognized the boys somehow. 

The shadow of the tree didn’t grant Bilbo any encouragement, it was almost scolding him for not remembering. “Damn you, too” Bilbo said to the tree and thought that he might be going crazy. 

 

-

 

Thorin couldn’t shake the sight of Bilbo from his mind. As soon as he had turned around, Thorin had almost fallen on his knees. The sight of the man and his curly hair had turned Thorin almost into a bawling mess. He’d stopped himself right on time, and he couldn’t even begin to comprehend where the need for crying had emerged. 

He had trouble sleeping. This wasn’t even the first time it had happened. It took him at least three hours every night to fall asleep, and he’d woken up during the night a few times each night. He was turning around in his bed, not sure how to fall asleep. His mind was preoccupied by the man, Bilbo. 

When he finally fell asleep, he had dreams for the first time in months. The first dream was full of chaos. Thorin couldn’t focus on anything, it was all just a blurr. He felt it was some sort of battle? He heard screams all around him. He was swinging his sword in his hand. It’s familiar weight felt cozy. 

The dream changed. He was inside a small house, surrounded by other people. He didn’t see any of the faces, they were a bit out of focus. He saw a small fire in the fireplace and he started to sing. Other voices joined him in singing about mountains and gold. He felt deep sorrow,kinf of homesickness. He felt his eyes watering in his sleep. 

The scene changed again. Now he was up a tree. It was night, the only light was the moon. He felt utter disbelief and terror. Enormous wolf-like creatures were attacking them. Thorin didn’t exactly know what he should do. There were other men around him, he just couldn't see them. Thorin felt like the men were his responsibility, he'd feel absolutely terrible if something were to happen to anyone of them. The trees started falling, and that’s when the dream changed again.

Now he was in a cell, a very gloomy looking cell. He heard a voice from another cell. “The deal was our only hope”. Thorin knew he recogniced the person talking, but didn’t think about it. “Not our only hope” he said with a hopeful tone. He had faith in his burglar. 

He was in a barrel now. The barrel was floating on a swift river. He saw other barrels with other dwarves in them. He was the first in the line, flowing down the river. He stopped two barrels behind him, Dwalin was in the other one. He looked different, but it didn’t feel strange. 

Far back, behind about a dozen dwarves, something heavy dropped into the water. Thorin felt himself trying to get a better view by propping himself on his elbows on the barrels edge. He didn’t see what had dropped. Suddenly, a small figure surfaced and gasped. Thorin felt grateful. His burglar had gotten away. Now they only had to get out of Mirkwood. “Well done Master Baggins”, Thorin said. 

When Thorin woke up, he felt uneasy. It was still 4 am, but he didn’t feel tired. He had just seen a dream about a man he’d just barely met the day before. But there really was something about the man he hadn’t felt before. His heart fluttered at the image of Bilbo wearing the waistcoat and wearing a bit too loose coat and saving them all from the cells. 

Thorin lay in bed thinking about the dreams. He probably should tell Dwalin about it too, but maybe he should not mention Bilbo. He felt he needed someone to talk to. He’d spent most of his adult life not wanting to talk about his emotions, and then feeling trapped by them. It was hard to get lost in yourself and a moments later forget about yourself and worry for your loved ones. Thorin couldn't help but worry about everyone he cared about. 

He knew Dis and Frerin could take care of themselves, but for a big brother it didn’t work like that. Dis had problems of her own. She had two sons to raise and she was a widow. Thorin couldn’t even think about pouring his own troubles on her. Frerin on the other hand was always cheerful, Thorin would feel awful to drown his brother in his messes. He knew he needed to do something about it soon. He really wanted, but he wasn’t the kind of a person to look for help. 

He got up from his bed and walked to his kitchen. He poured himself some cold water to clear his head. “I have to do it, I have to talk to Dwalin”, he said under his breath. He took a big chug of the water and shook his head. He put the glass down a bit too hard and leaned against the counter. He slumped his shoulders and rested his forehead on the cupboard above the sink. He breathed in and breathed out. He had made a promise to himself, and he needed to keep it. He was a man who stood behind his words. 

 

-

 

Bilbo’s dreams were full of tobacco smoke and adventures. They were the same dreams Bilbo had started having when he had started to write stories, being inspired by Gandalf’s tales. Bilbo had been a hero in the dreams as a kid: Master Burglar of the Shire. He used to dream about dragons and swords and battle. In the dreamns he had now he was still the burglar, but he dreamed of people raiding his pantry empty, Bilbo having to sign dull contracts, and riddles. A lot of riddles. The only concerning part of the dreams was a song that kept haunting the rest of Bilbo’s dreams. 

 

-

 

Dwalin looked at Thorin sympathetically. “Don’t be afraid to talk to me, Thorin.” Thorin had just confided in Dwalin all his secrets and depressed thoughts he’d had lately. Dwalin placed his hand on Thorin’s shoulder. “Just talk to me if you need to.” Thorin nodded and hesitated to open his mouth. 

“And, umm, I had a weird dream last night” he said finally. He laughed awkwardly afterwards, and Dwalin didn’t make a joke about Thorin having weird dreams. Dwalin was just happy to be of help to his cousin. He wasn’t going to mess this up now. “And actually you were in it as well.” 

That was it for Dwalin. “What kind of a dream?” he asked trying to hold in a giggle. Thorin looked at Dwalin crossly but laughed. “Not the kind of weird you’re thinking of!” he laughed. “Kind of like the games we used to play as kids. You know, battles, adventures, near death experiences, that kind of stuff. I think I might have even dreamed about the made-up language we used to speak when we were little” Thorin explained. 

Dwalin didn’t quite know what to say. He had also had weird dreams lately. Not that he remembered them in the morning, but they had left him quite shaken. Thorin noticed Dwalin’s expressions. “You too?”. Dwalin nodded. They were both left to ponder about their dreams.

 

-

 

The next night was different. Bilbo woke up trembling. “The eagles are coming, stay with me. The eagles are just here, stay awake, please…” He wiped the tears from his eyes. He was shaking and couldn’t even think about going back to bed. He didn’t remember the dream anymore, but it was extremely painful and touching. Bilbo put on his robe and had to go out for a little stroll around the park.

There were no cars around, and all the lights were out in the neighbor’s houses. The air was chill and it helped Bilbo get over the traumatic wake-up. He walked up to the oak again. He tapped the trunk and leaned his body on it. “Thanks for always being there for me”, Bilbo said. He didn’t know why he was talking to a freaking tree, but it helped. He trapped the trunk again and walked back home. He went straight to bed and slept like a log until the morning sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kibil means silver in Khuzdul, I wanted the dog to have a dwarvish name, and Kibil sounded appropriate. :) Bilbo and Thorin will meet again in the next chapter, this time in a very different situation ;)


	3. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be some alcohol consumption in this chapter. Not much, but still some.

One morning, a few weeks after the interview with the principal at the school, Bilbo got a call from them. He had gotten the job. He walked to his workplace and told them he’d gotten a new job. That left Bilbo feeling invincible. 

He decided to go to the local bar with one of his friends, Bofur. He didn’t enjoy hanging around people, he’d much rather spent that time reading a book by his fireplace, but it was a time to celebrate. 

Bofur had also started a new job just a week ago. They were supposed to celebrate just the two of them, but Bofur also invited his brother Bombur and cousin Bifur. Bilbo knew them also, but wasn’t good friends with them. 

Bilbo enjoyed himself nevertheless. It had been a while since he had had something to drink, so he was feeling a bit tipsy already, and they’d been at the bar only for an hour. He had started to feel comfortable enough around Bombur and Bifur and joked around with them when the bar started to flood with people. Young people, every single one. The music changed, and the lights on the dance floor lit up. 

“Um, do you want to stay still?” asked Bofur from Bilbo. Bofur knew Bilbo was not keen on staying with lots of people there. The other men had nothing against a bunch of people in their space. They had big families and were always hosting parties.

“Noo, no” Bilbo said. He felt a little tipsy and he didn’t care about the other people. “We’ll just have fun okay?” he said and shifted in his seat. He ordered another drink. He was two sips away from running to the dance floor and dancing. About a dozen minutes later he heard a familiar noise coming from the speakers.

“Oh my god it’s Uptown Funk!” Bilbo cried and jumped up unexpectedly. He felt dizzy in his head, he’d had too much to drink but he didn’t care. This was his song. He was jamming on the dance floor. He could feel the eyes of everyone in the bar looking at him dumbfoundedly. He looked like a boring old teacher and he was killing it on the dance floor. 

\--

 

Thorin sighed deeply. “Yeah, I’ll pick him up. Thanks for calling, Ori”. He jumped in his car. He started the engine and drove. 

Thorin heard the music even before he opened the doors of the car. He felt bad for the people living on this street. He strode through the doors and had to squint his eyes. The lights were bright and hurt his eyes. He didn’t see Frerin anywhere. “Thorin!” he heard someone calling behind him. He turned and saw Bofur waving at him.

“Oh hey!” he said and walked towards their table. “I came to pick up Frerin, he’s gotten himself too drunk again” Thorin said and laughed. His brother loved having fun with his friends and often it meant getting so drunk he could pass out in a ditch somewhere. Thorin had to pick him up every other weekend.

“Yeah, we came here too with a friend, he’s gotten quite drunk too, unfortunately” Bofur said and pointed towards the dance floor. There was a small man dancing around and belting out lyrics to the song. He was singing way off-note too. Thorin felt fondness towards the man, helplessly drunk on the floor. He smiled.

Bombur looked at Thorin. “Do you know him?” 

Thorin nodded. “Yes, I met him the other day at the park west-side of town”. The other men nodded. Bilbo was walking towards the table, but missed the first step. Thorin bolted to Bilbo and held him up. He felt the man laugh in his arms.

“Oh, I’m soooo clumsy” Bilbo said and laughed. Thorin laughed too. Bilbo looked at Thorin and his drunken eyes were so full of joy Thorin had to really keep his hands from stroking Bilbo’s cheek with his fingers.

“Let’s get you to the table, will we” Thorin murmured and walked Bilbo to the table. Ori and Frerin had also come to the table. Frerin didn’t even stand up himself, Ori had to hold him up. Frerin was leaning on Ori with his whole body. Thorin set Bilbo sitting on the chair and went to help Ori. “I’ll take Frerin with me, does anyone else need a ride?” Thorin asked. He noticed that all of the other men, excluding Ori, had had a lot to drink. 

Eventually, Thorin ended up driving frerin, Bilbo and Bofur home. First stop was Bilbo’s. Thorin knew that Bilbo lived in one of the houses next to the park, but didn’t think it’d be the one on the end of the street. The small house Thorin had always watched when he walked through the park. The most welcoming one. Warm and cozy. Felt perfect for Bilbo then.

Thorin had dropped Bofur off and was coming out of the car when Frerin woke up and saw Thorin. Thorin walked him to his room and brought a bucket next to his bed. He wouldn’t sleep at all, keeping an eye on his brother.

\--

 

Bilbo woke up the next morning with a headache. He had blurry memories of the previous night. He didn’t even remember getting to his bed. He got up and drank some water. It tasted repugnant. He took a shower and instantly felt a little better. He still felt a slight discomfort in his head. He grabbed a book and immersed himself in the story.

He was halfway through the first chapter when some of the memories started to resurface from last night. He had seen Thorin. Thorin had helped him when he had almost fallen down. He had held him in his arms. Bilbo remembered the rumble of his chest when he had laughed with Bilbo. He had helped Bilbo to get in his bed. The thought of it made Bilbo feel embarrassed. 

 

\--

 

Thorin was making breakfast when his phone rang. He took it in one hand and answered. The spatula fell from his hand and the world stopped for a second. 

Kili was in the hospital. 

Thorin turned off the stove and ran to Frerin’s room. Soon they both ran to the car.

 

\--

 

Hospital waiting rooms creeped Thorin out. So sterile and white. Always white. He smelled the disinfectant and it made him feel queasy. Fili was sitting on his mother’s lap and cried silently. Dis was sitting resolute, but sadness in her eyes. Frerin was sitting next to Thorin, his head in his hands. The floor was so shiny. Thorin wanted to just slide into the ground.

In thirty minutes they got to see Kili. He had fallen down from the tree on their yard. He’d broken his leg in two spots. He’d gotten unconscious because of the pain. Kili was a real fighter. 

Dis reached over to pet Kili on his dark curls. She smiled and murmured reassuring things in his ear. He had tears in his eyes, he was hurting. It hurt Thorin. His heart ached at the sight of his nephew in pain. He held Kili’s other leg in his hand.

Fili went around the bed and hopped on the bed next to Kili. He scooped closer and hugged his brother. Fili stayed there, lying next to his brother. Dis, Thorin and Frerin didn’t say anything.

\--

Bilbo wound up going for a walk. He had put his walking shoes and comfortable shorts on. He wanted to clear his mind and maybe boost his energy. He started off with a brisk walk, but when the music changed in his iPod, he started jogging. It felt good.

After about ten minutes of jogging he felt a little out of breath. He was already by the park outside his house. He sat down on the ground and lay down. He looked at the sky. He didn’t see the blue, it was covered by fluffy clouds. He breathed in and out and lifted his back of the ground. He leaned on his knees and looked up. He was the only one in there. 

\--

Thorin needed time to be by himself. He was exhausted from staying up the whole night, but he had done it with joy. He knew he needed to be by his sister’s side now. The doctor’s want to keep Kili in the hospital the next night and Frerin will look after Fili. Dis will stay in the hospital with Kili. Frerin can keep Fili company for the time while Thorin went out for a jog. 

 

\--

 

Thorin saw Bilbo well before Bilbo saw him. Bilbo was sitting on the ground, his cheeks lightly blushed. Thorin jogged to Bilbo’s side and sat down. “Is it okay to sit here?” he asked. Bilbo nodded and smiled. 

His hair was sweaty on his forehead. His breathing was a bit uneven. “Have you been running?” Thorin asked. Bilbo laughed. He took a deep breath before answering.

“Yes”, he said with the most fake even tone. He tried to keep the fact that he was out of breath unnoticeable. He failed miserably at it though. 

Thorin smiled fondly. “So how were you feeling this morning?” Thorin asked. He  
had basically met this man twice, on the second time said man drunk. 

“Not too bad.”

“Good” Thorin said.

“How are you?” Bilbo asked, out of the blue. Thorin looked at him. “I.., I meant.. You look like something’s bothering you.”

Thorin looked at Bilbo. “Kili, my nephew, had to be taken to the hospital today.” 

“I’m so sorry to hear that. How is he?”

“He’ll live. He broke his leg in two different spots. He’ll walk in a few months. It just scared me, that’s all.”

“It’s natural. You care for him. It’s okay to be scared sometimes.”

Thorin looked at Bilbo. Bilbo gave a comforting smile at Thorin. Thorin nodded and looked at the oak tree by Bilbo’s house. “I think so too, yeah”.

“Do you want water or something? I should give you something for helping me yesterday..” Bilbo asked Thorin, awkwardly scratching his head. 

“Yeah.”

 

\--

 

Bilbo’s home was untidy, but he thought Thorin didn’t mind. After all, he’d been there yesterday. He placed his post on his sofa off the table. Thorin just stood on the door a bit awkwardly. “Just come on in” Bilbo laughed.

Thorin sat down and Bilbo offered him a glass and a pitcher. “Do you want a muffin?” 

Thorin nodded and looked around the kitchen. It was old-fashioned. There were warm beautiful bricks on all four walls. There was a bouquet of dried flowers swinging from the ceiling. 

Bilbo brought the muffins to the table and looked at the bouquet. “It was my mother’s wedding bouquet. She thought it would bring good fortune hanging there.”

“Well, has it worked?” Thorin asked. 

“I think yes. One time it fell down and a week later my parents died. I haven’t dared to touch it ever since.”

“I’m sorry to hear.” Thorin said and looked at Bilbo. Bilbo casted his eyes on Thorin’s. His eyes were warm.

“I know you and I know you know me too”.

Thorin was taken aback. Bilbo saw it. “And don’t dare say you haven’t noticed.” Bilbo looked firm under Thorin’s eyes. 

“I’m just confused. I don’t know what to do” Thorin said. He didn’t understand he said it outloud. He didn’t like being unsure. 

Bilbo nodded. “I don’t know either. I guess no one can know in this situation. What is this situation even?”

Thorin laughed and Bilbo could feel his chest against his back again. Bilbo laughed too. 

“We don’t have to do anything about it now. I’d rather let it be what it is, you know?” Thorin asked. Bilbo nodded, and Thorin continued. “But I think we could still talk about it.”

Bilbo had something he wanted to say. “I knew you when I first saw you. You looked so familiar.” Thorin nodded and was opening his mouth to say something. “I know. I thought the same about you too. And the next night night I had dreams. Dreams with you and others in them.”

Bilbo felt a turmoil of emotions in his gut but he didn’t pay any attention to them. He said calmly “I had dreams too, but they’re always the same. I’ve had the dream since I’m a kid. But two nights after the meeting I had a dream. I don’t remember the dream anymore, but it shook me badly. I woke up crying”. Thorin barely heard the final sentence, Bilbo was whispering it.

“I didn’t have bad dreams, some of them were kind of strange. Like in one dream we were in barrels in a flowing river, just riding down the river. It was crazy” Thorin laughed. 

Bilbo laughed too. He had dreamed a similar dream the first night. “I think I dreamed about that too” Bilbo said. 

Thorin couldn’t look Bilbo in the eyes. His eyes drifted towards Bilbo’s neck and he gulped. He had two rings on his necklace.

“What are those rings?” Thorin asked. Bilbo looked down and took the rings in his hands. 

“This one’s from my mother’s family, it’s been in the family for years and years. And this-” Bilbo let the first ring fall and left it hanging on the chain and took the bigger on his palm “is from my dad, he found it. He’d been sitting under that oak tree over there.” 

Bilbo pointed towards the park and continued “and he’d just gotten a new shovel and was digging around the roots. It’s probably pretty old, but he didn’t tell anyone about it. He gave it to me when I was six. I was really into battles and all that and I thought to myself that it used to belong to an old king or something.. And you probably don’t care at all. I’m just babbling, I’m sorry” Bilbo said laughing apologetically.

“No, not at all” Thorin said and waved his hand as if to confirm Bilbo he was telling the truth. “I just feel like that ring also has something to do with all this. May I?” 

Bilbo offered his palm to Thorin and Thorin took the ring in his hand. 

“There are some kind of engravings here.”

“Yes, my dad never made out what it was” Bilbo confirmed.

“It is my name in runes” Thorin said. 

Bilbo looked at him with an incredulous smile. “How would you know that?”

“When me and my cousins were younger we had our own language. This is how my name was written in it” Thorin said earnestly. He needed Bilbo to understand and trust him. “But I have no idea how it could be on this ring” Thorin continued. 

Both Bilbo and Thorin were startled when there was a knock at the door. Bilbo breathed out an “excuse me” and walked to the door. 

“Oh welcome in! I have company but you’re welcome” Thorin heard Bilbo say at the door. Bilbo walked to the kitchen and he was followed by an old man. 

“Oh. hello. My name is Gandalf” the old man said and offered his hand. 

Thorin stood up. “I’m Thorin” Thorin shook the old man’s hand. “Nice to meet you”.

Gandalf chuckled “You too, you too”. He sat down at the table opposite of Thorin. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything” he said as he sat down. 

“No, you didn’t, don’t worry” Bilbo said and looked over at Thorin. Thorin laid his eyes on the ground. 

Gandalf chuckled and looked at Thorin. He looked at the ring in Thorin’s hand and lifted his gaze to Thorin’s. “What does it feel like?” 

Thorin didn’t know what to say, so he tried to put the ring on his finger. It fit perfectly on his middle finger. He was mesmerized by the sight of the ring on his finger. Gandalf let out a content sigh. 

Bilbo’s heart raced in his chest. He almost dropped the pitcher from his hands and he had to put it down on the countertop. 

“You’ve both had dreams, am I right?” Gandalf asked. 

Thorin was almost terrified of the man. He’d just met him and he was asking quite personal questions. Bilbo nodded. Thorin stayed quiet. 

Thorin felt uncomfortable around the man, so he waived for Bilbo to get closer. He stood up when Bilbo reached him. 

“I want to meet you again, soon. I need to get to my nephew now, but here’s my phone number. Give me a call or send me a text when you can. I’m sorry to leave like this”.

Bilbo nodded. “I will”.

Thorin gave Bilbo the paper with his phone number on it and walked out the door.

\--

It was getting chilly out. The sun was setting and there were no people out. All the lights in the houses on the street had their lights on. Thorin zipped up his hoodie and jogged home.

When he got home, Frerin was feeding Fili his supper and they both looked happy to see him. Frerin looked at him peculiarly. Thorin just laughed at him and Frerin responded with raising his eyebrows.

\--

“You shouldn’t have done that, I barely know him and you were making him uncomfortable” Bilbo told Gandalf as soon as Thorin had stormed out of his house. Gandalf just chuckled, again.

“He will come to his senses eventually. It takes him a long time to adapt to things not going to his liking” Gandalf said and looked at Bilbo. 

“You talk like you know him” Bilbo replied. He looked Gandalf with quizzical eyes. The blue in Gandalf’s eye flickered a little. 

“I did know him, a long time ago” Gandalf smiled warmly at Bilbo. Gandalf thought and pondered a while before talking again. “It was a world different from ours, it wasn’t like this. But you already know that, don’t you?”

Bilbo breathed in and lifted his hands on his chest. “I guess, yes”. He had known it. It had been so clear. As a kid the dreams had seemed to be just the crave for battle. Now, they had a different undercurrent. Bilbo didn’t like it. 

Bilbo needed answers. “Could you please tell me what’s going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter ended like this. I won't make the other chapters end like that :D


	4. Safe Haven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be so much fluff and I almost cried writing this. Hopefully you'll like it!!

“Before I tell you anything, I need you to tell me what you already know” Gandalf said. Bilbo had asked Gandalf to explain everything, several minutes pleading. 

Bilbo sighed. “I really don’t know anything. That’s why I’m asking you this” and flared his hands with frustration. Gandalf tried to give Bilbo a supportive smile.

“Stop that. I need answers now, please. The dream I had few nights ago was the last straw. I woke up, crying Thorin’s name. I had only met him once. I deserve to know, Gandalf.”

Gandalf looked at Bilbo with sorrowful eyes. “You know him, from a long time ago, like me. You were… Different so to speak. I was different. The world was different. But you already know that.” Gandalf nodded and looked at Bilbo.

Bilbo cleared his throat and nodded. Gandalf continued explaining.

“Your dreams, the stories I told you when you were just a lad were true. The stories about a small burglar joining a quest to reclaim a homeland from a dragon. There were thirteen dwarves, a wizard and a burglar”. At the last word Gandalf pointed at Bilbo. 

“We left from Shire, our burglar hesitated, eventually making us late. He also almost made us turn back because he had forgotten his handkerchief. He said he had found something along the way. He had found his courage, he told me. He also found love, that was clear as day. He just never did confirm it to anyone. He lived a long life after that, having gone through a lot. He stayed alongside his friends till the end.”

Bilbo didn’t realize there were tears in his eyes. He wiped the tears from his cheeks with his shirtsleeves. “What happened to his love then, since he didn’t mention him to anyone?”

Neither of the men acknowledged the fact that Bilbo had expressed the love to be a he. They both knew the story. Gandalf looked at Bilbo sympathetically. “He didn’t make it. He had gotten weak from sickness and blamed himself for things he had done. But he died full of love nevertheless.”

Bilbo sniveled. “That’s what I was dreaming about then.”

Bilbo walked over to his jacket and took out the acorn. It felt comforting, the potential to grow into something big. As big as the oak tree outside Bilbo’s home. 

 

\--

 

Thorin woke up to a boy bouncing on his bed. “Wake up! Wake up uncle! Uncle Frerin said that we can go see Kili as soon as you wake up, so wake up!”

Thorin lifted his hand and placed on the boy’s back. “Hey, Fili, I’m awake. Stop screaming okay.” Thorin laughed. Frerin leaned on the doorframe and smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, couldn’t stop him. He’s too fast and clever”. He held a cup of coffee in his hands. “I made some coffee” he said and offered the cup to his older brother. “I can drive too, you look a bit exhausted anyways.”

Thorin was grateful for his brother. He was in fact exhausted. And he’d needed to go to the shop and work today too. 

“Okay, we should go see your brother and mother” he told his nephew and tousled his hair.

 

\--

Bilbo couldn’t sleep. He was thinking about everything. When he saw the sun was rising, he sighed and got up to make some coffee. He looked out and saw the oak tree. He grabbed his mug and walked to sit under the tree. He put his hand on the trunk of the tree and drank his coffee. He enjoyed the brisk morning air and inhaled the sweet smell of morning mist.

\--

Kili looked much better than yesterday. He wasn’t in pain anymore. Fili ran to his bed and jumped in again. He told Kili about the dream he’d had the night before. “We were big and we had swords and there were trolls and we were fighting and they caught us and they tried to eat uncle Thorin and uncle Dwalin and it was kinda scary. I was scared like when you hurt your leg” Fili said and hugged Kili. 

Kili began to tell his dream. “Oooh, I had a dream where we were on an adventure and we were riding in, umm, barrels in a river and we had fun, but it was scary too. I hurt my leg in the dream, same way I did yesterday. I had a bow and a sword, it was cool!” Kili shouted enthusiastically. Dis smiled at her son and pet him on the head. 

Thorin didn’t smile. He knew what dreams the boys were talking about. He’d had the same ones.

\--

Bilbo was making the curriculums for the school year when his phone rang. “Hello?” he answered, little surprised. No one ever called him. He heard Thorin’s voice on the line. “Bilbo?” he asked. Bilbo replied and Thorin continued. “I had to call Bofur to get your number. It was a hassle. But anyway, could we see today or sometime soon? I have to talk to you, things have changed.”

Bilbo didn’t quite understand. “Why, what, Why? What happened?”

“My nephews have had dreams too, the same ones I have. I don’t know, it’s confusing.” Bilbo could hear Thorin sigh and his tone changed. “But when would you be free?” 

Bilbo liked how Thorin asked it, like he was asking him out on a date or something.

“I’m basically free all the time” Bilbo laughed. My life consists of reading, he would’ve liked to add, but didn’t.

“I hate to ask this, but could you come to my shop today then?” Thorin’s tone was so apologetic Bilbo felt bad for him. “I have to work in the shop and it’s pretty dull just sitting there.” Thorin said and regretted asking Bilbo to come over. He didn’t want to bother the man.

“Yeah, why not? When would be good? After lunch?” 

Bilbo actually wanted to do something else, rather than just sit at home and work. He might as well finish the curriculums the next day.

“Yes, sounds good. The shop is on the lakeshore, north side. Right next to the Mirkwood Wine Cellar. You know the place?”

Bilbo had lived in this town his whole life. “Yes, I know where it is. We’ll see there, then.”

“Yes. Bye.”

“Bye.”

\--

Bilbo had fireflies in his stomach when he was walking on the lakeshore. The wind was delicate and warm. Bilbo saw the shop. It was right in the corner where he thought it’d be. He walked in and saw Thorin behind the counter. He lifted his eyes from the newspaper and greeted Bilbo.

Bilbo smiled and sat down on the chair in front of the counter. The wooden counter felt smooth under his fingers and he crossed them restlessly in front of him. “So…”

Thorin nodded. “So.” Bilbo smiled. Thorin’s eyes lit up and the laughter lines around his eyes deepened. He had dimples too, Bilbo noticed. 

“I talked to Gandalf yesterday after you left. He explained everything to me.” He didn’t know whether he should tell Thorin everything. He probably should, but how could he explain Thorin had died in his arms, just after he had basically thrown Bilbo out and eventually forgiven him, seconds before dying.

“We have lived before, a different life. That’s why we knew each other, why I knew your nephews and Dwalin” Bilbo said. He didn’t need to tell Thorin it was crazy. Bilbo felt it was true, that they were in fact reincarnated. He had enough faith to believe Thorin felt the same.

“I thought so, it just seems like a dream. I used to speak the language as a kid with my cousins and siblings and we knew it, just like that” Thorin said, looking down at his hands, speaking under his breath.

“And after meeting you, everything has seemed a little out of place, you know? And of course meeting you for the first time, it was kind of a shock to be honest.” 

Thorin lifted his gaze when he said meeting you and Bilbo felt a little emotional. He was sure his eyes were sparkling with tears. He wasn’t going to cry now, god damn it. 

Bilbo could identify with Thorin, his life seemed to have changed completely. The world was spinning around in the other direction, sun was rising from the west, setting in east. And he knew the world had changed for forever.

“So you remember me?” Bilbo asked tentatively, feeling it was selfish to ask such a thing, but he needed to know. 

“I could never forget you, burglar” Thorin murmured. His tone was urgent, like he really needed Bilbo closer, to feel his skin under his fingers. To be completely sure he wasn’t dreaming, that it was actually happening. Bilbo didn’t dare to think it, but he sure as hell felt it.

“I’m not letting you go again. I’m not letting you leave me again” Bilbo ordered with a sentimental tone and reached for Thorin’s hand. Thorin hesitantly took Bilbo’s hand in his own and stared into the deep, green abyss of Bilbo’s eyes. Bilbo took the acorn out of his pocket with his other hand and showed it to Thorin. “I found an acorn, like the last time.”

Before Thorin could do anything else than smile longingly at Bilbo, the bell on the door rang. Someone opened the door. 

Dis walked through the door and stopped abruptly. She looked at Thorin and then Bilbo. “I’m sorry-” She was turning when Thorin spoke out.

“No Dis, just come in”. Thorin looked at Bilbo and mouthed “I’m sorry” so low the woman couldn’t hear.

The woman walked towards the counter and offered her hand for a handshake. Bilbo stood up and took her hand. “Bilbo Baggins.” The woman looked at Bilbo with her ice blue eyes and smiled warmly. “Dis Durin, lovely to meet you, Bilbo.”

“Same to you, Dis.” 

Dis gave her brother a mischievous smile. Thorin knew he wouldn’t hear the end of this. He knew that as soon as she was out the door, she’d text Frerin, Dwalin and probably Balin too. She couldn’t keep it to herself that she’d seen Thorin hold hands with someone in his shop.

“I was on my way to, urm, work and wanted to stop by to see you. But I gotta run, love you” Dis smirked and hastily planted a kiss on Thorin’s cheek. She was halfway out the door when she turned and smiled at Bilbo. “You keep him company, dear.” 

“Well, your sister is something, isn’t she?” Bilbo said, slightly blushing as soon as the door had closed behind the woman’s back.

“Yes, she is” Thorin said and walked to the door. He looked out and saw her go into the Wine Cellar next door. After a few moments she walked out with a redheaded woman. They were holding hands. Work, pfffft. Thorin didn’t believe her. 

“They have quite the unique taste in wine” Bilbo remarked. Thorin ignored Bilbo and looked at her sister, walking beside the woman.

“I detest the wine and the owner is abominable. He is the worst neighbor. I wish his company to no-one” Thorin sneered. Bilbo had been there once, a few years ago. The owner was a bit pretentious and pompous, yes, but Bilbo was indifferent to things like that. 

Thorin turned around and almost collided with Bilbo. Their chests pushed together and they could feel the other breathing. “I’m sorry-” Thorin said but Bilbo’s eyes stopped him. The air was too dense to breathe. 

Bilbo rose to his toes and waited for Thorin’s approval. Thorin lifted his hands to Bilbo’s waist and pulled him closer. He breathed in Bilbo’s warm, cozy smell and closed his eyes. He rested his forehead on Bilbo’s and whispered “I- not here”.

Bilbo swallowed and took a few steps back, pulling Thorin with him. The counter pressed into Bilbo’s back but he didn’t complain. How could he when Thorin was pressing him against the counter? He was enjoying the whole thing and he hoped it wasn’t too obvious. Thorin was quite close to him…

Bilbo felt Thorin’s hot breath on his lips and the tip of Thorin’s beard touched Bilbo’s chin. A second later Thorin’s lips were on his. He breathed in Thorin’s breath and was pulling him closer, begging not to stop. Bilbo fondled Thorin’s partially braided hair and Thorin sighed. 

Bilbo was the first one to withdraw from the kiss. He didn’t want to, but he was out of breath, and felt dizzy. It wasn’t entirely because of the lack of oxygen his brain was getting, but he didn’t want to faint.

Thorin kept his hands on Bilbo’s waist. Bilbo didn’t move. Thorin rested his forehead on Bilbo’s again. He was breathing very unevenly.Bilbo put one hand on the waistband of Thorin’s jeans and looped his finger in it. 

“I missed you, master burglar” Thorin whispered. “I’m not letting you leave me again, mister Oakenshield” Bilbo murmured into Thorin’s beard. He felt Thorin smile and he smiled too. They stayed like that for a few minutes, neither of them wanting to break the spell of the moment.

\--

Dwalin had of course walked in when Thorin and Bilbo were talking about the barrels and the river. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Thorin, we need to start working on the commission for the Smiths.” thorin apologized to Bilbo and hugged him before he let him go. Dwalin turned around to give them privacy, but got a little glance at Thorin pressing a tiny kiss on Bilbo’s lips. 

As soon as Bilbo’s figure disappeared from the view of the window, Thorin’s demeanor changed. “Why would you barge in like that? I’m fairly certain you knew he was here, considering Dis’s face when she left.” Dwalin started laughing and Thorin got irritated. 

“Would you please stop fucking laughing? And let’s get to work so we can leave early too.” Dwalin didn’t argue with that. 

As soon as he had gotten the text from Dis, he’d laughed his arse off with Frerin. Fili and Kili had been oblivious to what their uncles were laughing at, but they’d join in with their high-pitched giggles.

“I gotta go to work anyway, but I’ll tell you all the details” he told Frerin and left, almost running to get there quickly. He wanted to give them privacy, but since it had been close to a decade Thorin had had someone, the whole family was meddling in his relationships.

\--

Bilbo was weak in the knees as he was walking home that evening. His head was in the clouds and he couldn’t stop thinking about Thorin’s stubble against his lips or the way Thorin had squeezed his waist as the kiss deepened a little. Bilbo smiled to himself and touched his lips. Oh my god, he thought as he was walking next to the oak tree. 

 

\--

Thorin and Dwalin finished the gate quite quickly. They didn’t have time to do any of the other items that night, but they’d work on the commission later that week. They still had a chandelier, a few candlesticks and the other half of the gate left to make. Thorin and Dwalin were a great team and could make works of art out of pieces of metal.

\--

They were both dripping sweat after working for close to three hours on the gate. They sat down on the chairs behind the counter and drank water from their bottles with long gulps. Thorin’s hair was clinging onto his forehead with sweat and Dwalin was content with his bald head once. He wasn’t sure whether to ask Thorin about Bilbo. He knew Bilbo had something to do with the dreams they both had been having lately.

“I had a dream last night” Dwalin told Thorin. Thorin looked at Dwalin with considerable curiosity. “It was the same one you talked about, the barrels. Kili was talking about it today. It was a shock to hear him talk about the same dream I had and then remembering you described the exact same thing to me earlier this week.” 

Thorin nodded. “I was talking about that with Bilbo today, actually” he murmured. He looked up at Dwalin and continued hastily. “I will tell you everything, I promise. I just need to do something else now, okay?” Dwalin nodded, and just as he heard the shop’s door close, he grinned. “More like who” he murmured and giggled.

\--

Bilbo was already ready for bed. He had eaten a very plentiful supper and there was a book on his nightstand he’d wanted to start for a while.He didn’t want his mind to wander to the meeting with Thorin earlier in the day. He was already in his dressing gown, and he’d just slipped on his slippers when there was a desperate knock on the door. Bilbo put down his glass of water and opened the door.

“It’s late, I am sorry. But I needed to see you” Thorin stuttered. “I hope you don’t mind”.

Bilbo just stood there, in awe of this amazing man and pulled him inside. “Shut up” he murmured and kissed him. Thorin was taken by surprise but he pulled Bilbo closer. Thorin kicked the door shut and Bilbo shuffled backwards, dragging Thorin by his hair, not letting their lips get separated.

Thorin ripped the jacket off and stepped out of his shoes. Bilbo needed air, so he pulled away from the kiss, but left his hands on Thorin’s cheeks. He took a deep breath and Thorin looked at him with so much affection, Bilbo felt his knees give in. 

“I’m going to ask you to accompany me to my bedroom, if that’s not too much too soon?”Bilbo asked and blushed, “And to just sleep in” Bilbo continued, and giggled a bit. He wasn’t ready for anything else yet. Thorin smiled, and a small, tiny guttural laugh escaped his lips. “No. Now that I’ve come to think of it, we’ve known for quite a while.”

\---

They were laying in Bilbo’s bed, Bilbo’s head on Thorin’s chest. Bilbo could feel and hear Thorin’s steady heartbeat through his t-shirt. Thorin was humming a song in Bilbo’s ear. The melody was comfy. How could he forget the first day when he’s met Thorin and heard them sing about the mountain, their home. Thorin was slowly and carefully creating patterns on Bilbo’s palms with his thumbs. Bilbo felt safe in Thorin’s embrace and the rumble of Thorin’s chest was soothing. 

The music in the background changed. A soft melody filled the air and Bilbo dug his head deeper into Thorin’s chest. “Every night I keep dreaming about you. It’s getting out of hand, really” Bilbo murmured and Thorin laughed silently, breaking the spell of Thorin’s humming. 

“I am sorry” he whispered and rested his chin on Bilbo’s head.

“Do you remember the mithril shirt? And the acorn?” Bilbo asked. 

Thorin responded with a laugh. “Yes.” It took him a moment to continue. “You pulled me out from the sickness, if just for a little while. With an acorn, of all things. You are amazing”. 

Bilbo snuggled in closer and looked up at Thorin. There were tears in his eyes. “You couldn’t help it. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I cast you out” he whispered. He looked distressed, still unable to come to terms with his sickness. 

“I took your most precious thing, the thing you came there for” Bilbo murmured. 

Thorin disagreed. “No, I was at fault for giving up the most precious thing. The two most precious things: home and you.”

Bilbo felt the tears flooding in his eyes. He gulped and felt his voice sound hoarse. “You forgave me. With your last words.”

Thorin was sniffling. “Of course I did, I finally saw the light. I loved you. It was too late, I never forgave myself though.”

Bilbo shook his head. “I deserved it.”

“No, you did the right thing. If you hadn’t been there, we would all have died.”

Bilbo nodded. He would still need to prove that to himself. “I never married, never met anyone else. I was in love with you too.”

Thorin looked at Bilbo with fond eyes. “You said you remember the mithril shirt. That was my courting gift for you, to keep you safe. Cultural differences are sometimes such a curse.” 

Bilbo looked at their intertwined fingers. “The shirt saved my nephew once. I kept it and looked at it. Even after I’ve forgotten what your laughter sounded like and what exact color your hair was. It was the only memory I had of Erebor and you, besides the map.”

Thorin was silent. He just kept on drawing the same pattern all over Bilbo’s palm. 

“I still haven’t gotten all of my memories back. It’s a relief, but at the same time I wish I did. One day I’ll remember. Remember everything that happened: the good, the bad, those who survived… and those that did not.”

Thorin kept one hand creating patterns and the other he held up at Bilbo’s cheek. “You will, I’ll help you.” 

Bilbo smiled and returned to his spot, his safe haven. His head fit perfectly at Thorin’s chest. He felt they both needed to face their past, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagined Saturn by Seeping at last playing durinf the bed scene. It would fit so perfectly. The story doesn't end here. I don't know whether to maybe change the rating, I'd kinda want to at least try to write something different and maybe sexier for the next chapter. Idk. But yeah :D 
> 
> I believe you know who Dis' girlfriend is, don't you? :) There will be more of these couples in the next chapter!! :)


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